I hurt...
It?s been almost a month since my return to ?civilization and my heart is still aching the loss of my lady love. She did me wrong, but God, my heart is still hers, and I?m saddened by how someone who I thought love everything about me could suddenly say that I?m nothing in their life.

Makes you think about that one laying next to you don?t it? This woman was with me for eighteen years and I find in the last five she was lying to me everyday. She had fooled me. She had it schemed out to steal the house we both owned and now she?s telling people I signed some document that gives her the house! I don?t remember signing anything. And if I did, it was under the impression that it was something else was sticking under my trusting nose as some business document from work. Since we worked together, I just let her handle all the financials because she was an accountant and that?s what she did.

Also makes you believe those stories about accountants too. Never to trust them.

I?m still wondering where did I go wrong with this woman? How could I not see that she was scheming? I guess I let all the bitching be blamed on her drinking and didn?t think that she could actually be unhappy.

I wish I could talk to her and find out what?s going on inside her head. I wish I could find out if she still loved me, or if she ever really did. Was I just a fool that was there for her to get the house and for me to do all I did to make her publicly known? Now that she has all she wants, it?s like fuck you buddy, I got mine now you get the fuck out!

Again, it hurts.