A Year of Indecision
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Life's Trials
This last year after that last entry has been frought with dismal and hurtful life lessons, and the loss of my perfect love and friend. What was once the greatest love admired by all has now become another of the sad stories of break-up that this downward world has throw at us, and torn us asunder.

A Year of Indecision
Mood:  hug me
Now Playing: Sadness on the home front
A lot has happened in the last year and a half. Your favorite couple has went the way of a thousand others, and what once was thought the ideal relationship has degenerated into a hurtful existance.

bLOGGING FOR MONEY
Hey there! It a new day for Bobby Fleeks! Paper is going well, radio possibilites abound and a special person materialized in my life and all seems right with the world.

Seem idyllic? Well some of it is and others not so well. The not so well part is money. As great as it all is I still need that one commodity to keep everything running smoothly... as do we all.

But today I read something that rocked my world even more than the onset of a new relationship. Blogging for money! Interesting concept, huh?

Well, this fella has started a Blog that is doing just that. NO, it wasn't me who thought of it, though I wish I had. Seems promising to a degree, and I do need money for the paper and station. So let me think about that, since it's idea is unique and maybe profitable if it works for this other guy.

You can read his story here:

Blogging for Dollars

Now as for me, I'd love an "Angel." Someone to come in with fifteen twenty thousand dallars to help keep the paper alfoat while we get more and more advertisers to come aboard. Yeah, advertisers too can join the excitement. I mean if you're out there reading this, jump on... we need you!

But a money man or woman who would want to invest in these new ventures would be highly appreciated... if they would give the money and not want to take control. We're building something special here with the paper and I wouldn't want an investor to come in and want to place thier own agenda above what the paper is about.

Can you feel me? Money would be fine, and we do need a lot, but not at the risk of giving up our freedom to express outselves as a newspaper should and for the communities we serve.

That's why I started it... to give voice to an area that had little. So if you got money to invest in a promising enterprise, and are willing to let it be ran the way it was intended, then by all means call me with a pledge. We'll respect your ideas and you'll certainly reap the rewards of your investment, but just don't come in trying to change or run things. That's all I'd ask.

That's my little two cents on that issue. Neat idea though...

Single - Strange or just a stupid state of being.
Yeah, I'm going to get on my soapbox today. It's been a while and although life is treating me well enough with new businss, exciting prospects, wonderful friends coming into my life, one aspect of it keeps a depressing corner of my mind constantly occupied. I'm single.

Now, to tell the truth, in this day and age, that should be a good thing. With all the hotties running around giving it up and making a brothuh crazy, it's still hard to find someone special. Someone whom I could depend on as a my other half and who would commit to a one on one relationship, where the two of us would be partners for life.

It's funny to me, and ironically so, that I would even care, after being in a relationship that lasted so long (eighteen years) and one that acquired so much, one would think that now that I had that alcoholic burden off my back, I would be happy in my solitude and taking every oppertunity to jump on every passing female I saw. But I can't do that. I am a Christian man, and I actually want a committed relationship with only one woman! Yes, I said that in 2005. With promiscuity on the rise and the alternative lifestyles sickly creeping into the common, I guess I'm just a fossil that still believes in family and trust and honor and all those old values that are supposed to make up a family unit.

So crazy am I, that I have done some foolish things in this singular faze of my life. I have put myself out there with my screewriting, and my marketing and now with the new ventures of newspaper publishing, I find I am pulled in all sors of directions and females are jumping to "come aboard," so to speak, but the kind of females are another matter. Most of them see a ticket to someplace I am not willing to take them. So many want a free ride on the gravy train and will do anything to sop it up. But having been in the fast life the majority of my young life, know the difference between a good woman and hoe. So I am not jumping on anything that spreads good.

Being as introspective as I am, I seek women of substance who will be able to grow with me and accept the ol-skool theology that the man is the head of the home as Christ is the Head of the Church and be there help me acchieve the goals that we set together for our combined lives. That is the crux of my difficulty in find that "good woman." Most have an agenda that really doesn't include a man whom they're willing to submit to, but a money machine that they can use to advance whatever plot they have for their own personal progress. The men they grab and marry are little more than a pocket book and from what I see, couples are little involved with each other from the words, "I do" to the time she says, "I quit."

Being alone makes you do some stupid things too. I have found women that I thought great online and in person they turned in monsters. And don't be fooled by a picture fellas, all good looks ain't good lookin." And I have put myself in embarassing situations that I regretted later, because I jumped at a great looking photo.

I guess, even after all the pain my relationship took me through with her insanity and drunkeness, I do miss the closeness that being with somone brings. I secretly even miss the arguing... well not that really... maybe it was the making up afterwards. But this woman was always so drunk there were few of those, so that's not what I'm talking about. I mean the ideal of having a life mate that understands you like no other - someone there who knows you to a tee, and someone you don't have to put on a mask around. Almost like another you in another body. But it's hard to find someone so smart and intelligent and beautiful at the same time - there's always something wrong. Or maybe I'm just too picky. I know she's out there somewhere and I would like to think that my ex would sober up and give it another chance, but I don't actually see that ever happening now. It has taken her down two many strange roads for me. I am tired of being alone, but I'm really not lonely. I just like knowing that there is someone who thinks like me, who likes the same things and want the best for me as I would her. But where is she? Writing the next best screenplay or American novel? Being an executive on some hot television show, or DJing at a hot radio station? Where? I know I have to take my time this time, to find just the right combination of beauty and brains (sober), but let me tell you, it ain't easy being single!

Just my rant for today... I'll be okay tomorrow.

Life is so strange...
Yeah, it's been a while hasn't it? And I'm still out here alone trying to build something that will last.
Just started a newspaper, The Seattle Faze, Reflections of the City and World, and informative medium that will give Seattle a new voice of expression in the Emerald City.

You can see the on-line edition at The Seattle Faze Newspaper Online Edition to see what it's shaping up to be. Also we're planning to bring another radio station to the city as well... one you can hear and hopefully one that give Seattle a sound and name. You know how you go to some cities and their radio station gives you the feel of the city? Well that's what we're hoping for KFLX (Flexing Your Muscial Muscle) FM, and jumping out the box with all the latest and hottest hits that burn the airwaves! Stay Tuned for it!

On a personal tip, I'm still going through it. My baby is still deep into denial of her problem and I am not giving in to remain an enabler, so if you wonder why the picture is still up... well, I am a sap and still hope for a reconsiliation, but as days go by, I feel it slipping farther and farther away. I wish I could find a woman that would be there for me as much as I want to be for some woman, but all the one's I meet are either fools, too young, or out for themselves and don't have the style or class that I seek in a beautiful woman.

So I guess the kid will be by himself as he climbs the perverbial ladder to success this time out. It's rough, but God will take of me... He always has... and I'm confident if he wants a woman in my life (the type I'm praying for, she'll come along when I least expect it)it will happen when it happens.

So much for this blog today. Just wanted to let you know where and what I've been doing. Keep you life together and hope for the best for me.

We all gotta do what we gotta do and most time we hope we do it right!

Peace-

Screenwriting Meeting in Seattle - Seattle Screenwriter's Meet-up
Hey hey hey!
What an interesting time last night was! Met some of my group members and we had a good time discussing what we were all writing. I enjoyed the converstaions on how each one developed their ideas and while it took a while for some to actually open up and tell what they were writing, all around it sounded like everyone had some pretty commercial ideas.

I think we're going to have some really neat scripts come out of this, and hopefully some movies that might make it to the screen one day.

Not everyone wanted to make it to the big screen though. Sometime we write just for the sheer love of writing and use it as a cathatsis to explore our talent and express what's inside. But that too is okay as writers. Writing what you love opens you up for other ideas, and as long as you keep at it, who knows what might be turned into a movie. Ideas generate other ideas and once in a while a small idea can turn into a major motion piture.

I don't think any idea is too small to write... as long as it makes you happy writing it.

till next time-

New beginnings.
Well, it's a new day! Starting to actually feel like there may be a light at the end of that perverbial tunnel. Oh, not on the relationship tip, but with business. Found a site that has a great business plan that generates affiliate money and you don't have to do much of anything but follow directions and (supposedly) the money will come rolling in.

Now I've read all the material before I signed up so it seems quite a fantastic program. From the testemonials I'm on board with it and hope to start making money as soon as I'm thorugh with the training.

Yeah, you do have to go through that to succeed, but even that is not mandatory. You can start without it but your success rate will be different. And guess what? It's all free! NO, REALLY! It's free to join and you learn and get paid! I guess the only part that could be considered not free is that to really get going and make the type of money you want, you should pay attention to their method of process. But with all things there has to be a plan and theirs seems to work, so why not go through the training to ensure that you do it right?

Anyway it's called SFI Marketing Group and the link is here; https://www.sfimg.com/Reference/AboutSFI.sfi
Go check it out. I bet you sign up too!

Thinking about removing the picture of the lady from my website, but I am aprehensive on how it will affect her business. I mean I'm not a bad guy... a bad boy maybe, but I wonder without me how is she going to continue marketing? I mean I never got paid, but most who do what I do get big bucks for it, so if she had to hire someone who did what I did, it's going to be pretty expensive. Remember, even though we're going on with our separate lives, I am not out to hurt or destroy her. I would hope her the best in all she does... just as long as she does it without me. lol

So I am still up in the air about removing the picture. But if she pisses me off... you know it's outta there!

till next time...

Six in one hand... half a dozen in the other.
Seems like life is constantly challenging us. One day you are feeling on top of the world; then the next it's all crashing about your feet. Where does one turn? To God, I believe is the correct answer, but what does one do while waiting on Him?

But here's the wierd part... the part I don't get;

I get a chance to finally have a movie made and then my brillient "better-half" gets big head on me and sinks into the despressive hell hole of alcohol. Geeze, does it get any better than that? (that's sarcasm people)

But let me not bore you with any more sob story. Life does have it interesting moments. The movie thing? I do think with a little more effort I will have this in the bag. Big money and a new life.

Having it alone is something I dread, but I know with money I won't have to be alone... just lonely.

You know. Gobs of people swarming around wanting to be friends, and you know why they're really there... until the money runs out, if it ever does. But I don't associate with those types so maybe I'll be different. Famous last words, I know.

Yeah, I feel great about the possible sale, and I love the fact that I've finally been recognized a little by my peers, enough that someone actually wants to buy my writing. It's such a blessing after all the years it took to get it right. If I have gotten it right. Shoot I still have to get the script to them and they might not like it once they read it. So maybe we hold the enthusiasm till we get the check in our hot little hands. lol

Anyway, went to church and prayed about my situation. I'm holding up and wishing that that someone would write or contact me somehow. But I am such a romantic to think a vision could even be possible from my demonstative behavior. But I see a lot of women seem to like me after all, and I find that refreshing. Maybe there is hope for me after my lost lady.

Maybe...

Boy got sprung by a picture!
Yep! Saw a lady on a business page and the kid went off! This lady was beautiful and has all the qualities that a guy like me is looking for.

I know, I know... how can you see a picture and fall in love? Who knows? It was just something... maybe because she had the look I like, maybe it was what she does... She's in the business too, or maybe right now I'm just lonely and wish there was someone.
I don't know, but she looked sweet and her words on the page came across that she was out there looking as well. So I took a shot. It may never come to anything. Hey I'm divorcing and who wants that? Plus it may be too soon, and I doubt too many women want to deal with all the mess that goes along with a break up. But I've been over this woman (my ex) for sometime and even though I would hope that it had not happened, I must resign myself to the fact that it has. Life goes on and I want to share my exciting one with someone. That's all for today people. I know... I'm a silly guy. But life is short. You do what makes you happy in it or it takes you away. We make what we want to happen or it just happens to us.

till next time...

I hurt...
It?s been almost a month since my return to ?civilization and my heart is still aching the loss of my lady love. She did me wrong, but God, my heart is still hers, and I?m saddened by how someone who I thought love everything about me could suddenly say that I?m nothing in their life.

Makes you think about that one laying next to you don?t it? This woman was with me for eighteen years and I find in the last five she was lying to me everyday. She had fooled me. She had it schemed out to steal the house we both owned and now she?s telling people I signed some document that gives her the house! I don?t remember signing anything. And if I did, it was under the impression that it was something else was sticking under my trusting nose as some business document from work. Since we worked together, I just let her handle all the financials because she was an accountant and that?s what she did.

Also makes you believe those stories about accountants too. Never to trust them.

I?m still wondering where did I go wrong with this woman? How could I not see that she was scheming? I guess I let all the bitching be blamed on her drinking and didn?t think that she could actually be unhappy.

I wish I could talk to her and find out what?s going on inside her head. I wish I could find out if she still loved me, or if she ever really did. Was I just a fool that was there for her to get the house and for me to do all I did to make her publicly known? Now that she has all she wants, it?s like fuck you buddy, I got mine now you get the fuck out!

Again, it hurts.